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This Beautiful Detail Shot of Demi Moore’s Oscar Gown by Versace is just a shameless excuse to…

Point out how TINY Demi Moore is!

oscars-fashion-demi-moore-atelier-versace-zoom

  • She’s smaller than a 10-year-old boy!
  • But with some more boob.
  • I think she had a surgeon remove half her lungs! Like the right or left half, then moved the rest into the center. Adult lungs cannot fit into that torso.
  • (What surgeon would do that? Heidi Montag’s.)
  • I think she’s allergic to fat. She might just literally have 0% body fat.
  • Her head is huge! My monitor now looks 3D and it’s scary! She’s coming at me – like she will eat me – she might be that hungry…
  • Everything’s 3D these days, maybe this old-butt monitor got some secret ninja upgrade. But that’s a side worry.
  • Demi should never, ever actually be in one of those 3D movies that are ubiquitously upcoming. Hm, she might not have a career in 5 years. Too scary. Especially scary is where the world is going! But that’s a side terror.
  • This picture totally looks photoshopped. Her head looks pasted like a bad celeb “fake” – if you know what I mean.

Now, if you care about fashion, and I hope you do…

Above you can see what I was referring to in the so-couture randomness of the bodice wrapping. Di-vine.

Well, I guess that’s all about fashion, so I’ll just leave you after quickly going back to the first ramble-topic: in a world with Demi Moore, no wonder Lara Stone feels fat.

Photo via Shoe-a-Day.

 

Editors vs. Bloggers: Ella Bitches Both Sides.

*Grammar update*
I’m updating this post because I’ve learned something that relates, and I’m sure this little part of the grammar world can be found in my article. (I’m too busy to read it all again.)
Apparently, what every English teacher I know informs of prepositions is incorrect. (If you don’t want to read that page, I’ll write the gist here: some prepositions can be used at the ends of sentences.)

I will now write with less difficulty and, even more happily, less awkwardness. ‘Twas such an awkward rule, wasn’t it?

tavi-bow-hat-view

The View from the Middle: We're All on Equal Ground Now

It isn’t a popular position for a blogger herself to whine about (a) successful blogger(s), but at least that is only a small part of the upcoming several-fold rant. Well I’m not going to whine about success anyway, and I will only half bitch about the editors too. Everyone in the world is sometimes wrong and we’ve been reading so much of this cat fighting that I am itching to say just a few things.

First of all, everyone’s mean! Sure it’s safe to say that corporate-hired folks “started it”. Example: AOL’s Style List Katie Hintz-Zambrano pretty much accused famous 13 year old blogger, Tavi, of being no lady—whatever that means it does sound loaded. Yet then FashionIndie publisher antagonized all professionals for having expensive student loans yet small success. (Rant 2:) While attempting to argue against pros in this piece the blogger didn’t exactly prove one doesn’t need college with an article littered with terrible writing. See a large quote below as an example.

“Katie realize that fashion is a fickle little beast that is addicted to flavors of the week. The current flavor are over the top style bloggers like Tavi, Bryan Boy and Sea of Shoes, individuals with small readerships that manage to get attention cause they look odd* (or fabulous in the case of SeaGirl) and stand out in the streams of black, gray, and weathered that is the traditional garb of old school media types; you know, those overweight, fumpa bellied** folks who work at low readership publications like Paper Magazine and Village Voice who for years have taken over the front rows.”

Yeah I’ve been holding in my opinions – for the most part – about successful so-called writers who are as literate as the average person but actually attempt to publish and, while successfully in their own rights by their own hands, do so with a lot of opinion but zero talent.

Why is paying college tuition as “out” as three-decade-old faded bell-bottoms? While I don’t agree with the degree system, some education itself is priceless when it comes to things like grammar knowledge. Microsoft doesn’t sell that in package with PCs and paying high-speed Internet bills doesn’t grant us magic literary pills. Proper English is not something to disregard and learning it can not come easy. True that the average reader doesn’t know better but professional writers and editors do and I am not surprised they’re pissed that Jr. High-essay-level penners are so popular.

To me it’s not Tavi and her front row that I think is the only upsetting thing to insiders – and I’m refreshed that at least with her I can’t expect better writing than her age (although I think she far from writes worse than most adults). I, as someone who grasps the English language and is tormented by popular readership sites with authors who – to me – can’t write to save their lives — can’t imagine that this is also not upsetting to those who earned their big desk jobs.

~*If you like it then you shoulda put a belt on it*~

~*If you like it then you shoulda put a belt on it*~

*Third part of rant: Yeah, professionals, even fashion ones sometimes, are supposed to dress “professionally”; not “crazy”, most of the time—unlike girls – or boys – playing dress-up in their bedrooms and taking that to the street. Fashion is diverse, often about couture, but to me it’s a lot about flattery and not at all about a drapery, cheap or expensive label, that “fits” like a shapeless sheet. Where is the beauty in this outfit (right) – complete with hideous tights that appear to be mismatched knee socks? Oh yeah, I want to take fashion tips from that. (Not that I need any from anyone after years of Stacy and Clinton – all I need, babies.)

To add to the ugliness, I cannot hold it in, silver hair (or blue as some call it) on her makes her look 90 years old. It’s not cute.

However that FashionIndie representative thinks it’s “unthinkable” to diss Tavi’s (still-rookie?) style (and shows the position with unintelligible wording).

“[Stylelist's Katie Hintz-Zambrano] also does the unthinkable by calling her style “warrant serious eye rolls”. Oh snap!!!”

I do like that, for some time, a fashionista blogger showing her own style can lead to a following – what better way is there? Sadly, I’ve been horribly camera shy for several years with the reason lending itself to a future article on self esteem, weight, accepting oneself, etc. (I plan to follow that by me attempting to keep up with occasional or frequent ensemble shots, even though I still cannot be cloned—I being the only photographer my perfectionist self trusts.)

**The epidemic of not only obesity but of less-endangered-weighted women feeling frightened to be seen by the world or even themselves is my rant #4. It took me a long time to realize I am not actually fat – in fact I look beautiful, sexy, curvy, have a waist etc… I’m just no thinner than average even if sometimes larger. With only that amount of extra size on me, I’ve been terrified to show myself – and even though I’ve recently gotten over that for the most part, my fear of the camera adding 20 lbs (yep 20) is always difficult to overcome.

So to those so called indie fashionistas who are still to this day so insulting of weight as to say “fumpa bellied” (whatever that is) – yes, I am outraged at you and cannot stop at just pointing out this wrong you have made.

Yet who am I to argue? Where do I come from? (How much is jealousy, as one could excuse?) I’d let my posts speak for themselves as that is clearly all I currently have to show (and many are now missing photos, html and categories after years of changes and moves). I don’t think I even necessarily deserve grandeur at this point – I’ve made many individual business mistakes that leave me no wonder as to why I’m not more successful, so I’m not factoring my small position or using any bitterness in this reply. I’m human open to animal weakness but that is the truth. I’ve just seen such horrible lashing out that I’m compelled to put my 2 cents in, as my opinionista self just needs to do. I admire the simple beauty of bloggers making it by showing their style, and I’m hopeful that I can soon make this work for myself a bit – even though I usually go out looking mostly normal (except to male opinion) and if that holds a girl back, so what(?).

I don’t even mind if there’s bad writing by some fabulous or even crazy fashionista making it bigger through beautiful or quirky photos of their style and others’. One, the other, or both – it must be at least visual or literary, I say – and with both makes best. A fashion news or opinion site with apparent lack of even spell check, let alone proofreading, that lends to questioning what the writer’s first language even is —- also not cute, just like a sad sack.

Stop bashing the pros and editors you appear to not even aspire to struggle to equal in talent.

I’ll leave you with this quote, from Tavi’s own final word on the fight she partially inspires.

“The Bloggers vs. Editors! thing is tired. If there was a real competition, editors wouldn’t be willing to give bloggers press. Blogs and magazines are good for different things; it’s like comparing apples with oranges. Collaboration, not competition. Always!”

(And only one grammatical error.) I kind of like her brain, just not always the eye that creates some of her ensembles. ;-) You should read that article … and/or more of my blog. ;-)

 

Some Foods DO Taste as Good as Skinny Feels

I can know this because I have been skinny.

Courtesy of Monfresh @ Flickr

Courtesy of Monfresh @ Flickr

Some foods do taste wonderful, but their calories or other disadvantages make them easier to avoid while dieting. Some foods are just worth it, still.

Everyone has their own preferences, like some foodies need only gourmet and those with sweet teeth can drool over any dessert/snack foods.

Starbucks’ Hot Chocolate with a shot of peppermint may taste awesome, but I’m lactose intolerant (erm, less tolerant) so that’s off my menu for now while I’m also cutting calories.

One food we can all agree on; Filet Mignon.

Come on, Kate. Nothing? Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Really? Really!?!

You lie, miss chienne, you just must lie.

Sincerely, Ella.

P.S. Why, I think I just might have one of those Keebler sandwich cookies as a post-breakfast snack. Don’t mind if I do – don’t mind it at all. ;-)

 

Stuff it, Keiser! Lagerfeld Shoots his Mouth off against Curves

largerfeldWe just posted that Karl Lagerfeld is nutty with a serious case of verbal diarreah. But Lagerfeld is so off his rocker-bound-butt that he leaves behind his roots.

His own heavy roots;

No one wants to see curvy women. You’ve got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly.”

To that fab bloggers from Refinery 29 retorted,

We’re just going to chalk that up to boob envy and move on.

We (the royal moi) roll our eyes at him. Karl, stuff it with a can of Pringles, you miserable old koot!

Ladies, don’t listen to that oddball. And ask any straight man how much he loves curves.

Issue = fin.

(Also Refinery29 and FatStylist.com = FAB.)